Ep #87: How to Manage Your Weekend Eating

Strong as a Working Mom with Carrie Holland | How to Manage Your Weekend Eating
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Weekdays turning into weekends can feel like a vicious cycle of two steps forward and one step back. I hear regularly from listeners who say they can stick to their plan during the week easily, but the weekends present a different challenge, and that’s when they tend to go off plan. So, what do you do when the weekend hits and you go off plan?

If weekends are keeping you from reaching your health and fitness goals, this episode is for you. After years of coaching people around how to approach their weekends, I’ve picked up the patterns and pitfalls you need to be aware of, and I’m offering you real, legit, actionable advice to make your weekends a little more consistent and a little less off the rails.

Tune in this week to discover why eating off plan on the weekend is enough to undo all of your hard work from Monday through Friday, and what you can do about it. I’m sharing some methods for staying consistent on the weekend, and you’ll learn how to make a plan that you can actually stick to when you’re outside of your weekly schedule.

Are you ready to eat, move, and think in a way that gets you strong both physically and mentally? You deserve to have both no matter how busy you are, and I can help. I’m opening up my one-on-one coaching program for new clients, and I would love to work with you. Click here to learn more about working with me.

What You Will Discover:

  • Why going totally off plan on the weekend makes losing weight incredibly difficult.
  • How, if all bets are off for the weekend, that makes one third of your weekly meals off plan.
  • The problem with neglecting to make a plan for the weekend.
  • Why this work isn’t about never snacking or only eating at home on the weekends.
  • Ways to create consistency with what you eat during weekends.
  • How to make intentional healthy choices when you eat out at the weekend.

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Full Episode Transcript:

You are listening to the Strong as a Working Mom podcast, Episode #87. If weekends are keeping you from reaching your health and fitness goals, I’ve got some ideas for you.

Welcome to the Strong as a Working Mom podcast. If you’re balancing career, family, wellness, and some days sanity, you are in the right place. This is where high-achieving, busy, working moms get the tools they need to eat, move, and think. I’m your host, physician, personal trainer, and certified life coach, Carrie Holland. Let’s do this.

Hey, how are you? What’s new, what’s good? So, what’s good here, we are going to talk about your weekends. Specifically, we’re going to talk about what to do when you get off track on the weekends, and how to prevent going off track in the first place.

Your weekdays and weekends can feel like a vicious cycle of two steps forward, one step back. Many of you have told me that you struggle with this. You’ve told me that it’s easier to stay on plan during the week, and then the weekends become challenging and that’s when you tend to veer off your plan.

So, this episode comes in response to a number of listener requests asking how they should approach weekends, and today we’re going to dive into it. I’m excited to talk about this because it comes up all the time in coaching sessions.

After years of coaching people around how to approach their weekends, I’ve picked up enough patterns and pitfalls that I can offer you some real, legit, actionable advice to make your weekend just a little smoother, a little more consistent, and a little less off the rails. So that, come Monday, you don’t feel like you need a detox.

I can remember one client in particular, who would take Mondays as her detox day. She would drink hot water with lemon for most of the day on Monday to make up for the food and alcohol that she had over the weekend. She said, very matter of factly, that it was her detox drink, and she wouldn’t eat anything until dinner.

While that is certainly one way of approaching it, you don’t have to do that at all. You don’t have to drink water all day to cleanse yourself or make up for what you did over the weekend. There is no need for a Monday detox of nothing but water. Okay? That, most definitely, is a vicious cycle. You may feel like you’re spinning your wheels if you take that approach. That is taking a more reactive approach; trying to make up for what you did over the weekend. We don’t do that.

So instead, I’m going to help you with taking a more proactive approach. Let’s talk about how to manage your weekends, so that you get to Monday and feel good about the decisions you made; no detox needed.

But before I do that, I’m going to take just one second and put in a quick plug to ask for your feedback. I am so close to my goal of 150 reviews on Apple podcasts, and I would love it, if you love what you’re hearing, if you can leave me a five-star review. That would be so awesome.

I absolutely appreciate the feedback and reviews that so many of you have shared with me. Some of you have told me that the tools you’ve heard here have helped you change your habits, establish exercise, eat healthy, or rein in your snacking. I am super thrilled to be able to help you with that.

But most importantly, some of you have told me that this podcast has helped you change the way you think. So that, honestly, that right there, that is why I do this. To be able to help you see fitness and nutrition differently is one thing, but to be able to help you think differently, see self-care differently, and to view yourself differently in the process, that is what lights me up.

That is what keeps me coming back week after week to record. I know what it’s like to be constantly racing. To be working your tail off both at work and at home, but still feel like you’re failing on all fronts. I know what it’s like to want to take care of yourself, but also feel like you’re being selfish for doing it because it’s taking time away from the important people in your life. I know what it’s like to feel like a machine with no time to think; it stinks.

Maybe you know what that feels like, too. I worked through those things with a lot of time and patience and practice. I made very deliberate choices, and did a lot of work to come off the hamster wheel, stop feeling like a failure, and start feeling like I had a purpose.

That’s why I quit my doctor job. I knew I had a different purpose, and being a coach allows me to fulfill it. While I still have my days, I would say I’m generally in a much better place than I was at the height of my burnout. I am so much better off. And it’s because of the work I’ve done, the tools I’ve used, the tools I’ve created, and the commitment I made to myself to never give up.

This podcast exists because I want the same for you, seriously. There is no reason for you to run around ragged and feel like you are a machine. You aren’t not a machine, okay? You do not have to race through your life on autopilot. You can actually take care of yourself and be a parent, and a partner, and a professional, and a person with your own identity beyond all of those titles.

It is possible to feel like you’ve got it together, most days anyway. You don’t have to choose between career, family, wellness, sanity; you don’t have to choose, okay? If I can help you feel more empowered and less exhausted in the process, then I’m doing what I set out to do. So, if this podcast has helped you at all, whether you’re a woman, or a man, parent or no, working in or out of your home, if you’ve benefited from what you’ve heard here, please leave a review so other people can find these tools too. Thank you so much. And thank you, again, for listening.

Alright, so let’s get into what to do about your weekends. To start, too often I’ll see that a client will tell me she’s been “good” all week. And then, she’ll say she’s been “bad” on the weekends. I put both “good” and “bad” in air quotes because I don’t want you thinking in terms of “good or bad.” Really, I think of it as you either followed your plan or you didn’t.

This is not to say that you need to follow your plan with 100% consistency; I do not expect that. I’m not looking for that. And, that’s not the goal. I generally aim for 80 to 90% consistency, when we’re talking about your plan, because that gives you the space to live your life, enjoy yourself, and stay on track with your goals. That is instead of going totally off the chain on the weekend.

So, I think of it in terms of simple math. I’m just coming up with a hypothetical scenario here. But say you eat three meals a day, seven days a week. So, that’s 21 meals in a week. Imagine that you’re pretty solid about following your plan Monday morning through Friday lunch. And then, come Friday night through Sunday, you veer off. You eat whatever. You don’t really stick to your plan, and you go off the rails.

Again, with some simple math, if we take Friday dinner through Sunday dinner, that’s seven meals; or 33% of your total weekly meals that are not on plan. If you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, seven days a week, and Friday dinner through Sunday dinner anything goes, that’s 1/3 of your total weekly food intake that’s off track.

It may not be that this is exactly how it goes for you. It may be that you have a few meals that are off plan during the week, plus a few more meals that are off plan over the weekend. To be fair, it really doesn’t matter when you go off track. But if you do it enough times, it’s going to add up to not losing any weight.

I’ve simply found that for most people, weekends are when the majority of your meals are off plan. I bring up this math because even if it’s only three days, those three days can absolutely add up to undo any weight loss or caloric deficit that you created during the week. That 33%, to be clear, assumes you’re on point all week leading up to Friday night, and go totally off for all your meals over the weekend.

While this may seem extreme to some of you, I’ve seen this exact scenario. I’ve had clients, for whom come Friday evening it’s all bets are off. I had one client who ate every meal out on the weekend, starting Friday night up until her week started again on Monday morning. It made total sense why she was not losing any weight; a third of her meals are totally off her plan.

I may be getting into the weeds here by getting nerdy on the math, but I actually think it’s pretty important. I think it’s important to see that the number of meals you eat on the weekend is significant enough to impact your progress. Even if you’re on point during the weekdays, the weekends are most definitely enough to throw things off and keep you from losing weight, if that’s your goal. Okay?

So, now that we’ve got some math under our belt, and we’ve got some perspective, let’s talk about what you can do to make your weekend less of a challenge. First and foremost, have a plan. If you knew me at all, you knew this was coming. I’m making it very explicit, because too many of you come into the weekend with no plan in mind, or a fuzzy plan that’s nonspecific, and that’s when things go haywire.

There are a number of things to consider when I’m suggesting that you have a plan for your weekend. First, decide how many meals and snacks you’re going to have. Just like I would encourage you to do for your weekdays. If you spend your weekdays having three meals, and one or two snacks per day, decide if that’s what you’re going to do on the weekends too.

For many of you, you may find that you do more snacking on the weekends because you’re at home, you’re out of your usual routine, you may not have as much going on, and often, what happens is that you fill that empty space with food. But instead, I’m going to offer that you decide in advance what you’re going to do, and how often you’re going to eat, including how many snacks you’re going to have, and then practice sticking to it.

It’s easier to tell yourself, “I’m going to have a midafternoon snack at 3pm.” As opposed to, “Obviously, if I get hungry. And if I do, I’ll find something.” No, that’s not going to end well. Have a plan. For most people, I often encourage them to stick to as much of the same eating schedule as possible as they do during the workweek. It reinforces routine, it reinforces your habit, and it keeps things clean and easy.

You don’t have to think about it so hard, you just keep doing what you did during the workweek. But for some of you, you may decide to shake that up. As an example, you may adhere to an intermittent fasting protocol during the workweek, because your workday starts early and you don’t want to eat breakfast.

But then, on the weekend, you may want to have breakfast because you’re home and you want to eat with your family. So, make that decision. Decide if you’re going to keep up with an intermittent fasting schedule, or if you’re going to eat breakfast. And what that means is, you plan for it. If you normally don’t eat breakfast during the week, but then you do on the weekend, account for it. That may mean, as a result, that you eat less at lunch, when you would normally break your fast. That’s totally doable.

Or if you normally don’t have snacks during the week, but you decide that’s what you want to do on the weekend, decide it and make a plan. Decide how many snacks you’re going to have, and then decide how you’re going to adjust your main meals so that you don’t end up overeating. Come back to your hunger scale frequently and let your hunger guide your eating. Okay?

Next, in addition to deciding how many meals and snacks you’re going to have over the weekend, decide what those meals are going to be. Don’t get to Friday night without a plan for what you’re going to eat. Make some decisions in advance, so you’re prepared.

Many of my clients plan out their meals for the week. I have clients who work really hard, with some trial and error, to put together a meal plan that fits their work and life schedules during the week. They plan out what their breakfasts, lunches, and dinners will look like but often, they stop on Friday. If you do this, it leaves you to come up with something on Friday night for dinner, when that may be the absolute last thing you want to think about.

I see this all the time, so I’m going to make a big deal about it for just a second. If you’re going to go through the trouble of planning your meals, I would encourage you to think all the way through the week, including the weekend.

Are you going to eat the same breakfast, lunch, and dinner as what you ate during the week? Are you going to eat differently? What are those meals going to be? Write it out. Have a plan. Don’t stop on Friday.

To piggyback off this, as you plan for a full week, including your weekend, make sure you have enough food available. If you make a meal plan and come up with breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a full seven days, you’re going to need enough food to back it up. You don’t want to get to Friday and find that you’re all out of chicken breast or tofu, unless you plan to make another trip to the grocery store.

I know that this seems like a fairly obvious concept, but I’ve seen it happen to many of my clients. They will plan their meals, shop on the weekend, do some meal prep, have a few dishes, grains and proteins ready, but there isn’t enough to get them through the weekend. So then come Friday, there’s nothing left in the fridge and it’s last-minute takeout or restaurant food. And that sets up your weekend.

Often, by Friday, you’re just not feeling it so you eat whatever, including fast food or restaurant food, until your next trip to the grocery store. So, while this may seem small and insignificant, it’s just groceries, right? It’s actually a big deal. So, do yourself a favor and make sure you’ve got enough food to get you through the weekend. It is not fun to scrounge around your kitchen. And most often, it leads you to food decisions you’re not happy about later.

All right, next. Let’s talk about going out for meals. Really, we can even widen this and talk about what to do when you’re not having meals that you cook at home. Because you may be going to parties or friends’ or families’ homes where there is more food than what you’re used to eating, and then you’ve got some decisions to make.

I know I’ve said it before, but meals that you don’t cook for yourself, or meals that you get at restaurants or takeout or fast food, those meals tend to be higher in sugar, salt, fat, and calories overall. And if you eat a number of meals out over the weekend, you’ll find that it may be super easy to undo any caloric deficit that you created during the week.

So, if this is a challenge for you, here’s what I would suggest. Decide how many times you’ll eat out in a weekend and stick to it. Again, this may sound reminiscent of having a plan, and that’s because it is. Have a plan for how many and what kind of meals you’re going to have when you’re not cooking yourself.

If you decide in advance that you’re going out no more than twice in a weekend. There it is, stick to it. Decide in advance, “I’m going out to dinner on Saturday, and lunch with my family on Sunday.” That’s it, you’ve made a plan and then you practice sticking to it.

Let’s also talk about what to do when you do go out, so you can make some decisions in advance to set yourself up for success. Often, when you go out for a meal, or if you’re at a party or a gathering, there are extras, like loads of extras. There are drinks, like soda or alcohol. There are appetizers, maybe a bread basket, and then of course, dessert.

I think of all of those as four additions. If you have all four of those every time you go out you’re going to be adding a significant number of calories to your bottom line, and you will have eaten the equivalent of a second dinner before you even get to your actual dinner. So, make some choices ahead of time.

Decide how you’re going to treat yourself. Choose one, maybe two of those things; drinks, appetizers, bread, dessert. Decide on one or two of those and stick to that plan. I want you to treat yourself, okay? Decide what your indulgences are going to be, make them good ones, and certainly enjoy them.

But this doesn’t mean that you have to go all out and eat with abandon by loading up on alcohol, appetizers, bread, and dessert. Of course, you can certainly do that, but you will likely come home having eaten the equivalent of two meals in one. And that is going to make it hard for you to stay on track with your nutrition and weight loss goals.

Instead, choose where and how you’re going to treat yourself and stick to that. Decide what extras are most important to you and go with those. I want to also address something that comes up commonly for my clients. This happened with one of them just a few weeks ago. She had a plan for herself. She and her husband went out to dinner on Friday, and then friends called her, because they were in town, and they wanted to go out to dinner.

So, what do you do? What do you do when a spontaneous plan or invitation comes up? You make some decisions in advance. Go to dinner and see your friends. This is part of life. I don’t want you feeling compelled to say, “Well, gee, I’ve already eaten out this weekend, I can’t go.” No, that is not the idea at all. I want you to be able to be social; go out, live your life, and go to dinner.

Remember, your food fits into your life, not the other way around. That is so essential. So, if you want to go to dinner with your friends, you go, and decide in advance, “Okay, I’ve eaten out already this weekend. I still want to stay on track, so I’m going to either suggest this restaurant, because

I know there’s stuff on the menu that works for me.” If the restaurant has already been decided, “I will look at the menu and choose a salad and protein in advance.” If there are zero salad options, “I will choose the best thing I can find to fit with my goals.” If I’m going over to my friend’s place for dinner, “I will make a huge salad to share with everyone, because I know I will eat it and that will keep me on track.”

Do you see that? Do you see what we just did? We took a spontaneous dinner invitation and made a plan around it so you can still stick to your nutrition goals. That is the whole idea. I don’t want you to stay home and be a hermit, and not go out because it’s going to mess up your nutrition. No. Part of the work I do with clients is to help them learn how to manage social events, like dinners or parties, without it totally drilling you.

For many of you, you may have spent years thinking, “Well, gee, I’m at a restaurant. I can’t do this. So, all bets are off. Maybe I shouldn’t go to this dinner because it’s going to totally throw me off track. I’m going to my friend’s place; I have no control over this.” But that is not true. There are things you can do, without being a crazy person, that will still keep you on track. A spontaneous dinner out does not mean that you are doomed to go off the rails, not at all. But it comes down to thinking it through, having a plan that you make in advance, and then following it.

There’s a recurring theme here. I’m calling on you to use the planning, prefrontal part of your brain to make your decisions ahead of time. Those decisions, made in advance with the evolved part of your brain, are looking at delayed gratification. The decisions you make ahead of time, whether that’s your grocery list for the weekend, or what restaurants you will eat at, and what you have while you’re out, those decisions are made in advance so that you end the weekend feeling good about your choices.

That is in contrast to the decisions you make in the heat of the moment, that often do not help you. So, when you decide, “Well shoot, I’m at this restaurant, and everyone else is having a burger and fries. And even though I had fries last night, everyone else is having them, so I will too.” That’s instant gratification. That is taking the ‘here and now’ over the delayed gratification of sticking to your goals. That feels good for a second, until you get to Monday and you feel bloated. Or you weigh yourself and you can see the scale go up. Or your clothes feel tight. That’s when it doesn’t feel good.

But you can avoid all of that by making decisions in advance, even when spontaneous plans come up. Alright, next. The next thing you can do to keep your weekends on track is to keep up with your self-monitoring. I know I’ve talked about self-monitoring before, but I want to add it in here because it most definitely applies to your weekends just as much as it applies to your weekdays.

Please remember, when I say self-monitoring, that can be as detailed as using your MyFitnessPal app and logging all your calories. Or it can be as simple as a notebook and pen, where you just write down what you’re eating; no amounts, no weighing, no measuring. You just write down all of the meals and snacks and tastes and bites. Everything you eat, it goes in your journal.

The whole purpose of self-monitoring is to give you data. That self-monitoring, and that data, it’s meant to create accountability. It’s meant to create awareness. And it’s meant to help you to determine if what you think you’re doing is what you’re actually doing. This tool will not only help you during the week, but it can be especially helpful on the weekends.

It is no secret that most people eat differently, and eat more, over the weekend than they do during the week. For many of my clients, it’s easier to stay on track with their nutrition plan during the week, because the pace is so fast between work and evenings and kids and the shuffle and there just isn’t much downtime.

But then, the weekends come and it may be a little less scheduled. There may be more time at home, more boredom, or mindless snacking, plus more meals out, plus alcohol. All of that can add up to overeating. But if you’re self-monitoring, and if you’re being totally honest with your self-monitoring, you’ll see the impact that your weekends have.

You will see how weekends can affect your bottom line and your total intake for the week. And then you can use that data to help you plan ahead and make decisions ahead of time, so that your weekends don’t take you so far off track. If you see that Friday night and all day Saturday is a mix of calorically dense food, with few veggies and lean protein to be found, you can change that.

You can make a plan to have salads on the weekend, too. You can plan ahead to ensure you’ve got enough chicken breasts for dinner on Saturday. You can decide to stick to one alcoholic drink over the weekend, instead of the three that you’d normally have. All of those individual decisions add up. They all add up to coming off the weekend feeling good about your choices, and that counts for a lot.

Remember that while self-monitoring is a useful tool, it is not a perfect science. Self-monitoring is only as helpful as you are honest in how you use it. So, if you write down the main meals you eat but you leave out all the snacks, we’re not getting the full picture.

Or if you leave out the alcohol that you have over the weekend, we’re not getting an accurate snapshot of what’s really going on. You may look at your journal and think it doesn’t look like you’re eating that much, but that’s only because you haven’t logged accurately.

So, if you commit to self-monitoring, I’m encouraging you to commit to monitoring even over the weekends, and commit to being honest and write it all down, all of it. Okay? I have run into this so many times that I think it’s important to blow it up a little.

If your weekends are keeping you from losing weight, it is worth the effort of self-monitoring. And it’s definitely worth the effort of being as accurate as possible so you know exactly what you’re doing. Because once we know what you’re doing, then we can make adjustments. Remember, you can’t change what you’re not aware of. Self-monitoring will raise your awareness, so you can see in real time what’s happening during your weekends.

Again, this is not meant to be used as punishment. The purpose of self-monitoring is not to cause you guilt or shame over the way you’re eating. The purpose is to give you information so you’re not guessing. The purpose is to give you real, solid, legitimate information instead of your best guess. And then, you can use that information and decide how you want to make things different for yourself, so that your weekends aren’t such a barrier to losing weight.

Last, I want to offer you one more thing to do to keep your weekend from going off track. That is, to keep up with your workouts. Here’s why. You know how I feel about exercise. It’s really great for your body. It is really awesome for your brain and your mood. But exercise is not about losing weight. I’m going to make that crystal clear.

Do not use exercise to lose weight. That is a setup for resentment, and it will lead you to see exercise as a means to an end for weight loss. And it just doesn’t work that way. So, if you’re wondering why I’m suggesting that you keep up with exercise over the weekends, it’s about keeping up with your habits.

For some of you, exercise may be a keystone habit. A keystone habit is simply one key habit under which the other good habits fall. So, when you exercise, it leads to a sequence of other good habits, like eating healthy, drinking water, and getting good sleep. And all of those habits fall in line after you exercise; that’s your keystone.

I don’t know about you, but when I exercise I feel pretty good. I feel healthy. And I don’t want to follow up that exercise with pizza and ice cream. That generally doesn’t match up for me. After I exercise, I want to eat healthy stuff, like Ezekiel bread and cottage cheese and egg whites and broccoli. It just feels better. You may notice the opposite is true for you, too. You may notice that on days when you don’t exercise, you’re more sluggish. You don’t drink as much water, you spend more time on the couch, you stay up later than usual, and you eat foods that don’t line up with your goals. So, if that’s the case, for you, make a plan to get your exercise in over the weekend. You will most definitely feel better after you move, and it may very well lead you to make better choices about your nutrition. That, most definitely, is a win-win.

There it is, we just covered a number of different concepts to set you up for success on the weekend. To review, first and foremost, have a plan. Do not walk into Friday night thinking you’ll wing it. Decide how many meals, how many snacks you’re going to have, and stick to it. But don’t stop there, take it a step further and decide what those meals and snacks are going to be. And then of course, ensure you have enough food so you can follow your plan.

Decide how often you’re going to go out for meals over the weekend, and what you’ll have when you do go out. Remember those four additions; drinks, appetizers, bread, and dessert. Choose one or two of those editions, and if spontaneous meal plans come up, go. But have a plan walking in so you’re not caught off guard, whether that’s at a restaurant or at a friend’s house.

Don’t forget about self-monitoring. Do not let your self-monitoring go just because it’s the weekend. Commit to it, even on the weekends so you can give yourself data to work with and make adjustments. Most of us eat more on the weekends than we do during the week. And self-monitoring will help you create awareness about what you’re actually doing.

Lastly, keep up with your exercise. Often, exercise is a key habit that will result in a cascade of other habits, like eating healthy, and we want to fuel that habit over the weekends too. Plus, exercise straight up feels good, no matter what day you do it. Okay?

I hope you’re walking away from this episode with a number of different ideas to keep your weekends in check. Again, none of these are rocket science, and that’s exactly the point. While none of these ideas are complicated, they do require time, intention, and thinking ahead in order to execute. But if you’re tired of the cycle of solid weeks, followed by off the chain weekends, and it’s keeping you from losing weight, you will find that it is totally worth it to put in the energy to think through your weekend, have a plan, and arrive on Monday feeling like you nailed it. You can totally do this.

If you want help with this, let’s go. When you coach with me, this is what we do. We create a plan together for how you’ll eat during the week and over the weekend, so there is no guessing. You don’t have to worry or wonder what Monday is going to look like. You’ll get to Monday feeling good about the decisions you made without having to detox.

Check out my website. Go to www.CarrieHollandMD.com/contact. Tell me how you want your weekends to go, and let’s get to work.

Thank you again for hanging out with me now. I’ll catch you again next week. If you like what you’ve been hearing, please review the show. I would love to get your feedback and ideas. Your suggestions have inspired episodes and will help me make the show better for you. Share this podcast with a friend, text a show link, share a screenshot, or post a link to the show on your social media. Be sure to tag me @CarrieHollandMD, on either Instagram or Facebook, so I can follow along and engage with you.

This is how we get the word out to other working moms who want to feel strong inside and out. If you know someone who wants to feel better or eat and move differently but she is too tired or too busy, it is time to change things up. You know making that change starts with how you think, and that is what we do here on the Strong as a Working Mom podcast. I’ll see you next week.

Thanks for listening to Strong as a Working Mom. If you want more information on how to eat, move, and think, so you can live in the body you want, with the mind to match, visit me at CarrieHollandMD.com.

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