Ep #180: December Is Not a Throwaway Month: How to Stay on Track During the Holidays

This is the Strong Is a Mindset podcast, Episode #180. If you walked away from Thanksgiving feeling a little off your routine and you’re tempted to hang it up until January, stay with me, because December does not have to be a throwaway month.

This is the Strong Is a Mindset podcast, where you’ll learn how to build both a strong body and a strong mind by eating, moving, and thinking. I’m your host Physician, Personal Trainer, Certified Health Coach and Certified Life Coach, Carrie Holland. 

Hey, how are you? What’s new? What’s good? So, what’s good here? Well, first, welcome to December. We are in the final stretch of the year. And if you’re anything like me or any of the women I coach, the week after Thanksgiving can feel kind of disorienting. You may still feel full from all of the turkey and the pie, the schedule is weird, maybe you traveled, maybe you didn’t sleep well, and suddenly, the calendar flips to December and it’s like, holy cow, here it is. And it may feel like everything is speeding up around you.

So now, we’ve got holiday parties, school concerts, family obligations, year-end deadlines, travel plans, and of course, cookies everywhere you turn. And with all of this holiday stuff coming at you from every direction, it might be enough to make you think, “Well, I’ll just deal with it in January.” And I hear that exact sentence every single year. December rolls in and often people throw up their hands, decide it’s chaos, it’s too much, and then they mentally tap out and hang it up. And that is exactly why I want to talk about this today, because December is not a throwaway month. It is not a built-in excuse for us to abandon everything we’ve been working so hard on for the previous 11 months. And more importantly, the solution to this is not to double down and get crazy intensely hard on yourself either. So this is not all or nothing.

You most definitely don’t have to be perfect, but you also don’t have to give up either, okay? You can enjoy the holidays and you can also take care of yourself. Both can be true. But most of us don’t approach December that way. Instead, something happens the minute we get into this first week after Thanksgiving. There’s a subtle but significant mental shift. It’s almost like a quiet switch flips, and suddenly, December just feels different. It gets labeled as this special exception month where structure feels optional, travel feels disruptive, and parties feel like permission to abandon your habits. And that is what we need to unpack.

December is one of the easiest months to slide into resignation. And this is especially true for my perfectionists who struggle with all-or-nothing thinking. So that could look like eating off-plan once and deciding that the whole month is blown. Or you travel or you go to a party, and instead of planning, you tell yourself, “I don’t know what food’s going to be there, I’ll just figure it out,” or “Nothing is in my control, so all bets are off.” And before you know it, you’ve handed your entire month over to the environment, the schedule, the events, the food. Instead of remembering that you still get to decide how you show up.

And this is where emotional overwhelm disguises itself as holiday rules. So this is what I mean. You tell yourself that December is supposed to be busy and unpredictable, and as soon as you believe that, your habits fall apart. You skip one workout or have one unplanned dessert, and the perfectionist part of your brain jumps in with, “Well, I blew it,” and suddenly, the whole month is a wash. If you can’t do everything exactly how you envision it, your brain convinces you that you should do nothing. So this is the month when structure and habits start to feel optional. And it’s not because you don’t care, but often because you’ve convinced yourself there’s no point in trying. And it can be very black and white and ultimately leave you resigned until the new year.

And I want to normalize that because so many women fall into this pattern, but I also want to disrupt it. Because the truth is, most people don’t get off track in December because of the food and the parties and the travel. They get off track because of the story they tell themselves about December, that it’s too hard, it’s too busy, there’s too much food, they have no control. And when you operate from that story, December will always feel harder than it needs to be. Not because it is harder, but because you’ve already decided it will be. So, let’s take a look at that very common belief that December equals chaos.

So, let me be clear, December is not chaos. December’s a month. It’s a month with days and hours and choices, just like every other month. But so many of us walk into December assuming it’s going to be messy and crazy and unpredictable. We expect full calendars. We expect interruptions to our routines. We expect family dynamics, travel hiccups, lots of food, busier work weeks, and a long list of shoulds. And when your brain is bracing for all of that, the month will feel heavy before it even starts. And you end up reacting to December as if it’s an uncontrollable beast, when really, it’s the meaning we’ve attached to it that makes the month feel so big.

And I want to be clear, you’re not imagining this. December can feel full. It can feel emotional. It can feel demanding, especially if you’re the person holding everything together for everyone else. But feeling that way does not mean you’re powerless. It doesn’t mean you’re at the mercy of the month. It just means your brain is seeing December through a lens that’s highlighting everything that’s hard. And that makes the whole month feel heavier than it needs to be.

So, instead of automatically assuming December is chaos and you’re just along for the ride, I want to offer you a different way of seeing this. You have more influence over how this month goes than you think. You don’t have to do every tradition. You don’t have to attend every party. You don’t have to say yes to everything. And you most definitely do not have to abandon yourself and become a machine in the process, racing to New Year’s Day.

And once you shake the story that December is supposed to be overwhelming, that’s when you can start making real, intentional choices about how you want this month to feel. That is where you prove agency. You’re no longer being carried by December, you’re walking through it with purpose. And this idea that you have agency, even in December, is where things start to shift, because once you recognize that the month itself isn’t the problem, you can start to find the moments when your brain slips into thinking you have no control and reframe it.

And I have a client who did exactly this. So this client travels to see family during the holidays. We’ve been working together for a few years and every year she tells me the same thing, “It’s too hard to be healthy when I travel because nothing is in my control.” And I really want you to hear that because she’s not saying it dramatically or with attitude. She genuinely believes it. She feels it in her bones.

And if you’ve ever traveled or stayed with family or eaten food someone else has prepared or been out of your routine, you probably know exactly what she means. She walks into these gatherings already bracing herself. She’s already feeling behind before she’s even taken off her coat. She tells herself, “This is impossible.” And once that thought settles in, everything else becomes predictable. She overeats because she assumes she will. She skips exercise because she assumes she can’t get it in. She feels out of control because she assumed control wasn’t possible for her in the first place.

And that is not at all because she’s weak or inconsistent or undisciplined. It’s because she’s walked in with a story that left her no options. And when you walk into any situation, holidays, travel, parties, family gatherings, if you walk into any situation believing you have zero agency, that is what you’ll prove true. Every menu, every dessert table, every pushy relative, every unfamiliar routine starts to feel like confirmation that yes, you really don’t have control.

And I share her story because I know she’s not alone. I’ve had this conversation with many of the women I coach. It’s very easy to fall into the belief that when you’re traveling or the schedule is different or when someone else is cooking, your habits are automatically out the window. That you are at the mercy of your environment and whatever happens, happens and you’ll just fix it later. But here’s what I helped this client see every year. It’s not the travel. It’s not the food. It’s not her mother-in-law offering her dessert. It’s the story she’s walking in believing. The story that convinces her she’s already lost control, so nothing she does matters. But when she chooses to shift that story, even just a little, a different outcome for her holidays becomes possible.

And here’s the truth. She could bring a salad. She could bring a protein. She could decide not to drink. She could decide to skip dessert. She could get up early and go for a walk. She could decide ahead of time what she wants her holiday to look like and then practice making choices that align with that. Those choices are always available to her, but she can’t see them when she’s convinced that December takes away her agency. And we’re working to change that. Because December doesn’t take away your choices. The story you tell yourself about December does.

And here’s what I want you to take from my client’s story. Once she starts to see even a sliver of choice, even something as simple as bringing a vegetable or deciding ahead of time what she wants, then the holiday feels different. She’s not bracing for impact anymore. She stops acting like December and the holidays are just happening to her. And instead, she starts showing up like a woman who has control, who has agency. And when you operate from that place, you make different decisions. You finish December feeling like you weren’t swept up in it and you don’t have to recover from it. And while agency doesn’t make your December perfect, it absolutely does change your experience of it.

So now, let’s bring this back to you, because while my client’s story is hers, this pattern is so universal. So many of the people I work with start December feeling defeated, but it does not have to go that way. There is an alternative. So let’s talk about what actually works in December. Because once you recognize that the month itself isn’t the problem, and that it’s the story about the month that derails you, the next question is, “Okay, so what do I do?” And here is where I see so many women make December harder than it needs to be. They think the answer is to buckle down, get stricter, tighten the reins, or create a flawless holiday plan.

But the solution is not a giant overhaul. It’s also not about being perfect or rigid or suddenly becoming the most disciplined version of yourself during the busiest month of the year. So, what actually works? What actually helps you feel good and stay focused is choosing a few small anchors. These are small but significant practices that keep you grounded and stable, even when your routine looks different and your schedule is full. And to be clear, these anchors are not intended to add pressure. They’re there to help release pressure and give you structure without the expectation of perfection. They help you feel more like you when everything around you feels louder and busier.

So you can think of anchors like this. When the month gets full, your goal isn’t to operate at 100%. Your goal is to stick with the few things that help you feel steady, something simple, predictable, and doable, no matter where you are or what’s happening. So your anchors don’t require a lot. They don’t need to be big or impressive. They just keep you from drifting.

So for me, my anchors don’t really change in December. I work out in the morning. I eat protein at every meal. I have a salad with dinner. I decide ahead of time how I’m going to treat myself, whether that’s a dessert, an appetizer, a drink, or nothing at all. I don’t eat a Christmas cookie every day. And I want to be clear, these are not rules. These aren’t punishments. These are choices that help me feel stable. They help me stay in the game so I don’t get swept up by the month and feel like garbage come January 1.

And your anchors might look different, and they should. The point isn’t to match mine. The point is to choose one or two things that help you feel steady. So maybe that’s a short walk every day after dinner. Maybe that’s having some sort of protein at breakfast instead of a breakfast of nothing but carbs. Maybe it’s drinking water before you have coffee. Or maybe it’s saying, “Let me think about that,” instead of immediately saying yes when you’re asked to take on just one more task this month. So whatever those anchors are, name them for yourself. Keep them small and practice them. And these are the habits that will keep you from feeling like you’ve got to start over in January.

So the idea here is that you’re keeping yourself focused through the month with tiny, intentional choices, not pressure and not a giant overhaul. All right? And now, once you’ve decided on a few anchors, the next step is building awareness around them. And when I say awareness, I don’t mean pressure or tracking or checklists or perfection, just awareness. Because awareness is what keeps you intentional instead of just drifting through December on autopilot.

And the easiest way to build that awareness is to ask yourself a few simple questions as you move through the month. Not deep existential journaling, not therapy-level processing. You don’t have time for that. So instead, I’m talking about quick check-ins, moments where you pause for five seconds and purposely put yourself back into the driver’s seat, especially when the month feels busy.

So here are a few questions you can use. What matters most to me today? Or, what’s one thing I can do that will help me feel more like myself today? Or, my personal favorite, where am I assuming I don’t have control when maybe I do? I really love that one. And then one more question I thought of, how do I want to feel when this day is over? So I like this one because it zooms in on the day instead of letting yourself get swept up in the entire month or the entire season. So it’s simple, but it opens the door to making choices today that support you.

So if your answer is that you want to feel calm, maybe you say no to something that would take up more of your already limited time. If you want to feel good instead of weighed down with food, maybe you stop at what is enough food without piling more on your plate. If you want to feel proud, maybe you do your anchor habit, even if it’s done in the smallest version.

And here’s the point. These questions interrupt the automatic “December is chaos” narrative. They help you slow down your thinking just enough to make a deliberate choice instead of a reactive one. And that short pause, literally just a few seconds, gives your brain a chance to come off autopilot. It reminds you that you have options. It creates just enough space for you to choose on purpose. You remember what you want for the day. You pick the next best step instead of the easiest one. That is what changes your day. It’s not the size of the action, it’s that the action came from a place of intention instead of overwhelm.

So, use your questions to check in with yourself instead of defaulting to what you always do. And remember, these questions aren’t rules. They aren’t another to-do. They’re just a way of staying connected with yourself in a month that tends to pull you in a hundred different directions. And when you use those questions, even occasionally, you’ll start moving through December with a little more clarity and a little less reactivity. So the goal with these questions is to stay in the driver’s seat this month, okay?

And all of this, the anchors, the small choices, the quick check-ins, all of this leads to the deeper piece underneath this entire conversation, and that is your identity. Because at the end of the day, December isn’t just about food or movement or schedules or parties or travel. It’s about how you’re showing up in a month that often feels big, emotional, and full. So, I want you to think about this. Who do you want to be in December? Not who you think you should be, not who you’ve been before, but who do you want to be now?

Are you showing up as someone who’s already resigned, telling yourself, “It’s the holidays, there’s nothing I can do”? Or are you showing up as the woman who says, “I can enjoy the holidays without it turning into a free for all”? And that’s why identity matters here, because whatever identity you choose, the way you define yourself this month, that will shape your experience of it. And those two identities create two completely different outcomes. One version of you walks into December feeling at the mercy of the month, and that leads to resignation, guilt, over-committing, overeating, and waking up on January 1 feeling like you need a reset.

Now, the other version of you, the woman who chooses to see herself as capable, strong, and in control of her decisions, even if that’s just the direction you’re aiming, she will have a very different month. She makes thoughtful choices. She indulges on purpose. She sets boundaries, and she keeps a sense of agency in her own life, even when things are busy. And here’s the part that’s so important. December doesn’t change who you are. You’re the same person on December 3rd that you were on November 30th unless you decide otherwise. So this month doesn’t rewrite your identity, but your choices will either reinforce it or pull you farther away from it.

And identity-driven choices are different. They’re stronger, they’re more sustainable, they’re less dramatic and less guilt-driven. They come from the part of you that’s thinking clearly, not just reacting to the moment. And here’s the best part. You don’t have to overhaul anything to take on that identity. You don’t need a perfect plan. You don’t need flawless follow-through. You don’t need to hit every anchor every day.

So instead, remember that your identity is built in the small, almost forgettable moments when you act in alignment with the person you want to be. Like when you choose salad because it makes you feel good, or when you skip the extra drink because you want to feel clear-headed instead of fuzzy, or when you take a five-minute walk because even a little movement helps you feel more like yourself. It’s when you remember that you still have agency, even in the month of December.

Those decisions, they might look insignificant on the outside, but they reinforce something powerful on the inside. I am a woman who takes care of herself even in December. And when you operate from that identity, everything else, the food, the events, the travel, the emotions, all of that becomes more manageable. The month doesn’t feel so big and insurmountable anymore. So you’re not being rigid, you’re being deliberate. You’re not white-knuckling your way to January, you’re just choosing how you want to experience the month you’re currently in.

And that identity and taking ownership of who you are, that is what makes December feel different. It’s what helps you end the year feeling steady instead of depleted. So, here’s the message I want you to walk away with today. December is not a throwaway month. It’s not something you have to survive or make up for later. You don’t have to double down. You also don’t have to hang it up. You don’t have to overcorrect or overindulge. You can enjoy the holidays and take care of yourself at the same time. Those are not two mutually exclusive outcomes. They can absolutely coexist.

And when you start seeing December in that way, things will change. Because December is not a test you either pass or fail. It’s not a countdown to a fresh start. And it’s definitely not a reason to abandon yourself for four weeks and hope that January will fix it. Instead, December can be different. It can be an opportunity to practice consistency in an imperfect season. It can be a time to let your small habits count. It’s a reminder that you always have choices, even when your schedule is packed. You have a chance to stay with yourself even when there’s a lot of noise in your life.

And that’s really the heart of all of this. December isn’t asking for perfection. It’s asking for presence, a few small choices, a little awareness, staying connected to yourself instead of checking out for the month. That’s it. You don’t have to reinvent anything. You just have to keep showing up in a way that feels doable. And when you do that, you don’t end the year feeling defeated. You end the month feeling in control instead of trying to undo four weeks of chaos. So, December gets to feel different this year, and you get to decide how.

All right? And if you want help with this, let’s go. When you coach with me, we take all this work, the agency, the anchors, the identity piece, and we make it personal. You’ll practice small, doable habits that keep you steady and build the self-trust that makes December and really every other month feel less overwhelming. Check out my website, send me a message at www.CarrieHollandMD.com/contact and let’s talk about how coaching can help you. All right? Thank you again for hanging out with me and I’ll catch you again next week.

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Thank you for listening to the Strong Is a Mindset podcast. If you want to learn more about how to build both a strong mind and a strong body by eating, moving, and most importantly, thinking, check out CarrieHollandMD.com.