Ep #184: The Best of Strong Is a Mindset: 2025

This is the Strong Is a Mindset podcast, Episode #184. It’s the last day of the year, and before you dive into resolutions, take a minute to remember what actually worked, because you’ve already learned a lot this year.

This is the Strong Is a Mindset podcast, where you’ll learn how to build both a strong body and a strong mind by eating, moving, and thinking. I’m your host Physician, Personal Trainer, Certified Health Coach and Certified Life Coach, Carrie Holland. 

Hey, how are you? What’s new? What’s good? So, what’s good here? Well, it’s the last day of the year, and we’re closing it out just a little differently. So, today’s episode is a best of edition of the Strong Is a Mindset podcast. It’s a collection of some of the most powerful, most thought-provoking moments, lessons, and mindset shifts from this past year. My production team pulled together some of your favorite clips, the ones you shared, replayed, and messaged me about because they stuck with you. So I’ve never done this before, but I’m excited to share a variety of takeaways from previous episodes, all in one condensed episode. And I love this because this podcast has covered a lot of ground in 2025. Everything from breaking habits to rethinking overachieving to keeping it all together, both in your body and in your mind when life gets messy.

And what I think you’ll hear in all of these segments is this one final common truth: how you think shapes how you live. Really, this is the heart of everything we talk about on this podcast. And when you start changing what’s happening in your brain, you change what’s possible in your life. So, as you head into the new year, I hope this episode reminds you what is possible when you keep showing up for yourself, one thought, one choice, and one habit at a time. Here’s the best of the Strong Is a Mindset podcast, and cheers to what’s coming in 2026. All right, let’s go.

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If your ability to stay on track is entirely dependent upon everything in your life going smoothly and you being at home, well, that’s going to be rough. What happens when life gets busy or unpredictable? Then what? Because the reality is, life is unpredictable. There will always be something, always. A kid gets sick, a coworker is out and you have to fill in, a car breaks down. There is always something and you can count on it.

So, instead of holding your life to an impossible standard of perfection before you follow through on your habits, instead of aiming for the perfect routine, what if you change your goal to build the skills, discipline, and flexibility you need to adjust and make the best choices for yourself in any situation?

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I want you to remember that just because the food is in front of you, it doesn’t mean you have to eat all of it. You can leave food on your plate, even if you are always part of the clean plate club. Even if your parents taught you that in order to have dessert, you have to finish every last bite of dinner. We are unlearning food rules here, okay? So much of what we bring into our adult lives is based on rules that we just took at face value because they came from the adults in our lives and we didn’t know any better. But I want you to feel empowered to give yourself permission to write your own rules. Your body’s needs come before any sense of obligation to clean your plate, okay? Please really hear that. Your body’s needs come first, always.

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What if you grab a little something for a total of four times in a day, and then you do that every day of the week for seven days? So that’s 28 little extras all over the course of a week, and I would argue that will be more than enough to keep you stalled. That is enough. So the little things like grazing and unplanned snacks really don’t seem like much in the moment, but if you zoom out and look at the impact over the course of a week, it can actually add up to quite a bit.

And if you’re not paying attention to it, if you’re not food journaling or keeping track of what you’re eating in some way, you’re probably not going to make the connection. If you’re not tracking or logging those small bites, most often, they don’t exist in your brain. They don’t register, but they most definitely register on your body, okay? Your body still counts all of the extra bites and all of the grazing. So even if those bites are small and mindless and scattered throughout your day, they still matter. They still count.

Your metabolism does not hit pause just because those few bites of chocolate chip cookie did not feel substantial to you. It all adds up, and over time, those mindless bites that you’re not really thinking about can be the difference between being in maintenance and losing weight.

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If you are on track Monday through Thursday, only to let it go Friday through Sunday, you will most definitely be chasing your tail. So you may start your week strong, meal prepping, eating protein and veggies, and minimal snacking or grazing. But then by Friday, things start to slide. Maybe it’s a drink with dinner on Friday because it’s been a week, or extra snacks on Saturday when you’re home and a little bored, and one or more dinners out at restaurants over the weekend.

And then by Sunday, you may feel a little off track, but instead of getting back to your plan, you tell yourself, I’ll get it together on Monday. And this is a pattern I see all the time. And the problem is, you could be eating super healthy for a good portion of your week, but your weekends could be completely erasing that progress and keeping you right at maintenance.

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Maybe it’s that when you find yourself in front of a certain food, you find that you just want it, so you have it. But here’s what I want to point out. When you stop at I just wanted it, that is a surface level response. And it sounds reasonable at first. You might think to yourself, well, Cheetos are salty, they’re crunchy, they leave orange powder on your finger that you can lick off when you’re all done. I just want them.

So you’ve reasoned with yourself that it sounds good, it tastes good, so on with it. And if you stop there, that’s the end of it. And you’re keeping yourself from learning more about you and your habits. Wanting something or feeling like you earned a treat, it is not inherently wrong, right? In fact, society reinforces it. Everywhere you turn, every ad you see will tell you that food is a reward for hard work. Food is a way to soothe your discomfort. Food is your escape. But here’s the problem. While thinking this way seems harmless at first go, these justifications act as a mental shortcut that keeps you from digging deeper to actually understand your food choices.

So when you declare, “I just wanted it,” you bypass the opportunity to understand the emotional, physical, and situational triggers that led you to that decision in the first place. You’re not asking yourself why you wanted the food. So you’re never going to know if you ate the chocolate because you were actually physically hungry, or it was because you were feeling stressed or tired or filling a void that food has helped you fill in the past.

When you settle for the surface level response, you miss out on the opportunity to learn more about your relationship with food, your patterns, your thought processes, and your habits. So, instead of justifying your behavior with a quick excuse, we have got to dig deeper and look for what else is going on.

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What I’ve noticed is that when a client says something like, “We’ll see, or I hope it works, or I’ll try,” my radar goes up because those words are a clue. Those words are a clue that you’re not fully taking ownership of the thing you say you want. And I want to say this clearly, but also with compassion, but when you say, I hope it works or we’ll see or something similar, what you’re really saying is, I don’t think I have control here. When you say, I’ll try, what you’re often really saying is, I’m leaving room for this to not happen.

And I know that might be hard to hear. It may feel a little cringy to think of the times in your life when you’ve said, we’ll see, only to not do the thing. And I’m only sharing it because I’ve been there. I have done it and I have said all of those things, and I know what it feels like to not be in a place of full belief in yourself. It doesn’t feel good. I’ve done it in my business, I’ve done it in my relationships. I’ve done it with my schedule, my fitness. I have defaulted to “we’ll see,” and it got me absolutely nowhere. So think about it. When you say, “we’ll see,” what does that bring up for you? What feelings do you associate with we’ll see?

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Whether you’re a man, a woman, young, old, whatever, having muscle really is a non-negotiable. Muscle really is your key to longevity. And if you’ve hung around here at all, you may have heard me share about this, but let me reiterate why having muscle matters. So first, this may be obvious, but having muscle improves your strength. So you can get up and down the stairs, so you can pick up a heavy box, so you can get your luggage into the overhead compartment. And while muscle improves your strength, it also improves your endurance so you can chase your kids, your pet, your grandkids.

And while we most commonly think of strength training as the way to build muscle, it also helps strengthen your bones to reduce your risk of osteoporosis and fractures. And the combination of muscle and bone strength helps reduce your risk of sprains, strains, falls, and other injuries. So, muscle also improves your metabolism. It’s more metabolically active than fat. And all that means is that it burns more calories at rest than fat.

So, the more muscle you have, the more calories you need to sustain that muscle, and the higher your metabolism will be. Muscle also has a role in insulin sensitivity, and it helps to regulate your blood sugar and reduce your overall risk of type 2 diabetes. It can help to decrease your blood pressure. It can lead to improved brain health and memory. And aside from all of the physical health benefits that you get from having muscle, let’s not forget all of the mental health benefits that it get you too. So strength training and having muscle have been linked to better quality of life, improved mood, and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety.

So I heard this saying recently, and I think it applies. Strength training or really having muscle will add years to your life and life to your years. And to that, I say a great big amen. Yes, it will most definitely do both. Having muscle will add both to your quantity and quality of life.

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You are not a project. Your body, your energy, your wellness, your sense of self-worth, these are not systems to be optimized, okay?

You cannot out-schedule your way out of burnout. You cannot time block your way into peace. You cannot shame yourself into consistency, and you cannot hustle your way to wellness. And that’s because burnout does not care how productive you are. Your nervous system does not give a hoot about how many things you’ve checked off your to-do list, and your body does not respond to pressure. Your body responds to care and kindness, not pushing harder.

And that is the paradox. So many of you are trying to apply the same tools that got you success in one domain, work, achievement, external validation. You’re trying to apply those tools to a completely different problem, the problem of making space for yourself in your very busy, very over scheduled life. But this problem does not get solved by pushing harder. It gets solved by allowing more space. It gets solved by building safety. It gets solved by giving yourself permission to do less, rest more, and be a human being instead of being a machine.

And so this is where everything starts to shift. Things start to shift when you’re willing to admit, not that you’re doing it wrong, but that doing it this way no longer works.

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The amount of mental energy white knuckling requires of you can be totally draining. And here’s what I want to offer. White knuckling is not the goal. It’s also not a badge of honor either. Instead, white knuckling is really a sign to you that something is off. It’s a clue that you’re relying on effort instead of skill, and that you’re surviving instead of thriving. It tells me that you’re in a reactive state, using every ounce of willpower just to get through the moment, and that is not sustainable. And it’s definitely not how you build confidence or long-term change.

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Language matters. Your language matters a whole lot. So remember that your words create your world. So the words you use, they are not just sounds, they are signals to your brain about how serious you are. So as an example, when you say something like, I hope I can do it this time, what you’re really saying is, I don’t believe I will. Think about it. I hope I can do it this time. That language, it’s passive. It does not spell decisiveness and it doesn’t convey seriousness. Instead, it leaves the door open for quitting. It suggests you have no control over your actions and that success is something that might happen to you if the stars align. But that is not how change works. It takes more than hoping and seeing.

So, now on the flip side, when you say, I’ve decided I’m no longer eating takeout for dinner anymore, that, that is decisive. There is no guessing there. There’s no wondering what you intend. When you say I’ve decided, you are claiming authority. You’re telling your brain, I’m in charge here, and that is exactly what we’re looking for, for you to be in charge. And while that shift in language may seem small, don’t underestimate it. It’s actually super powerful. Your brain takes direction from your words, and over time, what you say becomes what you believe. And then what you believe becomes how you act.

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Tools do not replace the fundamentals. So yes, it is the unglamorous habits that matter most. Veggies, water, walking, and sleep. They may not feel as exciting as strapping on a new device, but those really are the backbone of sustainable habit change. The lifestyle you build, so the way you live day in and day out is really what creates your results. Not your CGM graph, not your readiness score, and most definitely not your daily weigh-in. Okay? Simple, not flashy, and not something an app can do for you.

So, here is what I want you to take away. Stop over-scientizing your fitness. Data is not bad. Gadgets, also not bad. But they will not change your life unless you use them to change your behavior. Numbers on a screen, they will not lift the weights for you. A readiness score does not get you to bed earlier. A food log, that does not put veggies in your mouth. Only your actions can do that. And here, this is what I really want to drive home. The information itself, it’s not the solution. It’s what you do with that information that matters.

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All-or-nothing thinking makes every decision depend on the one before it. So, instead of one choice being independent, all or nothing thinking ties them all together. When the reality is, each meal, each workout, each decision stands on its own. But the problem with all-or-nothing thinking is that it collapses them all together. So, if you fail one, you fail the whole thing, and it leaves you no room for being human.

And as a result, you live in extremes that are not sustainable in either direction. Meaning, you are either all in, perfectly on plan, following your rules, giving maximum effort, going at 100%, or you are all out where you quit, give up, and you let it go completely. And neither extreme is doable for the long term, and it’s only a matter of time before you give up and swing to the opposite extreme. And it’s totally exhausting.

And then on top of that exhaustion created by swinging from one extreme to the other, you also end up with guilt and shame loaded on top of it when you inevitably fall short of your impossibly high standards. And when you do fall off, you don’t just see it as a single mistake. Often, you use that one slip up against yourself and turn it into proof that you are failing altogether. And the resulting guilt fuels even more giving up, which reinforces the whole cycle.

And so ultimately, all-or-nothing thinking totally blocks your consistency. When your progress collapses the moment it’s not perfect, it makes it really hard for you to stay consistent. So when you eat your weight in french fries and you tell yourself, that’s it, I blew it, and then you proceed to go on a week-long junk food bender as a result, only until you get sick of it and go back on to salad, that is not consistency. That on again, off again nature of all-or-nothing thinking will totally erode your consistency and make it really hard for you to keep up your habits.

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Strategy matters. Strategy feels productive. It’s measurable, it’s safe. And I love a good plan as much as anyone. Ask any of my clients and they will most certainly vouch for me on that. But with that said, what I have learned over and over is that most people don’t have a strategy problem. Instead, they have a thinking problem. Because the things that look like strategy problems, like the missed workouts, the constant plan hopping, the macro recalculations, those are all really just symptoms of the same much deeper issue: how you think when it gets hard. A good enough plan done consistently beats a perfect plan that you abandon every single time. You don’t need the perfect macro split or the best workout or the most detailed meal prep system.

Instead, you need a plan that fits your real life that you can repeat on your busiest days, not just your best days. And please remember, simple does not mean lazy. Simple means sustainable, and it’s what helps you show up day after day.

And then second, expect discomfort. Don’t wait for it, plan for it. Remember that change is uncomfortable and it’s supposed to be. That doesn’t mean anything has gone wrong. It’s your brain learning. And when you encounter that moment of discomfort, when you do something different, don’t be surprised when your brain says, this is too hard. Expect it, plan for it, and know exactly what you’ll say to yourself when it happens. And again, the simpler your response here, the better. Because when you expect discomfort, you don’t have to fight it. You can walk through it with your eyes wide open, prepared for your brain to freak out, but with a response ready to go.

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That is why it’s so important to be looking for the right kind of progress. Often, when people get into mindset work, they have an expectation that if they just work hard enough or long enough or read enough self-help books, that one day they will arrive at perfect calm and positivity. Or was that just me? But when we’re talking about your mindset and your well-being and your soul, we have to redefine what success actually is. And that is going to look like smaller things, like noticing your triggers faster, or shortening the time between a spiral and a recovery, or being willing to pause before reacting. None of those things are necessarily visible, but they’re all signs of progress and they all count. Those are your mental reps.

And just like in fitness, those small but consistent reps, those moments where you catch yourself or try again or stay aware, they all add up. They build strength, endurance, and most importantly, they build belief. The work you do on your mind isn’t separate from the work you do on your body. It’s the same kind of training. It’s the same discomfort, same repetition, and the same sticktuitiveness. One is just easier to see.

And this is what I love so much about fitness. It’s really not just something you do. It’s training for everything else. The lessons you learn from moving your body, the discipline, the patience, the willingness to feel uncomfortable, those lessons don’t just stay in the gym. They come with you. They show up in your relationships, in your career, and how you handle stress, and how you talk to yourself.

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If you wanna know why bother with all of this thinking stuff, here it is. True lifestyle change is about changing what you do, sure. But more importantly, it’s about changing the way you think.

So we need to help you think about your diet and exercise differently, if it’s going to result in a true, long lasting lifestyle change. Cause here’s the thing, your diet and exercise are tools. They are tools that can enhance your life and make you healthier and stronger and feel better. And your diet and exercise are so much more than a means to an end of losing weight.

So my goal is to help you shift your mindset around diet and exercise from one that is transactional to one that is transformational, focused on the pursuit of better, to a mindset that is focused on feeling good and feeling strong. And this is instead of doing all this work just to fit into smaller pants.

Because yes, I can get you into smaller pants, just like any influencer or programmer, any packaged food system. If you follow the plan, you will get into the smaller clothes, but that will only take you so far if you don’t have the mindset to back it up. None of that will last if you have not changed the way that you think about yourself and the way you think about eating and moving, okay?

That is why I am not just here to help you lose weight. Really, anyone can do that. I take a different approach. We will address your habits, but recognize that thinking is going to be the most important habit you work on if you’re going to change your life.

If you wanna change your habits, if you wanna change your lifestyle, if you wanna lose weight, if you wanna build muscle, whatever health and wellness goal you’ve got, it is always going to come back to the final common denominator of how you think. And when you change the way you think, you will feel better. You will stick with your habits for the long haul instead of giving up on them. And that is my goal for you.

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Hey if you want to build muscle but don’t know where to start, I’ve got you covered. Head over to CarrieHollandMD.com/buildstrength and download my free guide to help you maximize your strength training. Inside, you’ll find the essential exercises for building muscle, plus simple one, two, and three-day workout plans you can follow with just dumbbells and a bench. You’ll also find strength training tips to help you train smarter and see real results. My goal is to help you get strong and this strength-training guide will help you do it. Go to CarrieHollandMD.com/build strength and check it out.

Thank you for listening to the Strong Is a Mindset podcast. If you want to learn more about how to build both a strong mind and a strong body by eating, moving, and most importantly, thinking, check out CarrieHollandMD.com.